A One-Sentence Summary Clinic
One of the most popular features that I do on this blog is to periodically hold a clinic in writing a one-sentence summary. It’s time to do it again. I think we’ll have a lot of fun.
Simply put, the one-sentence summary is one of the most effective marketing tools you’ll ever find for your novel. Not to mention, it’s one of the most powerful ways of keeping you on track as you write or edit your novel.
What’s a one-sentence summary? It’s one sentence that defines the “story question” for your novel. It should be as short as possible, but no shorter.
Here are a couple of examples which I’m going to steal from my book WRITING FICTION FOR DUMMIES. (The contract for the book allows me to steal a certain amount without asking permission):
OUTLANDER, by Diana Gabaldon: “A young English nurse searches for the way back home after time-traveling from 1945 to 1743 Scotland.”
THE KITE RUNNER, by Khaled Hosseini: “A boy raised in Afghanistan grows up with the shame of having failed to fight the gang of boys who raped his closest friend.”
One thing a one-sentence summary does is to tell you instantly whether you’d be interested in reading the book. A one-sentence summary separates the sheep from the goats, so to speak. Not everybody in the world will like your story. Anything that helps people figure out instantly if they’ll be interested in your novel is a tool you should have.
The other thing a one-sentence summary does is to keep you on track. If you read that one-sentence summary every day before you write your next scene (or edit it), you’ll always know when you’re going off track or when you’re already derailed. That knowledge is power, incredible power.
What’s your one-sentence summary? Post it here as a comment and the rest of us will tell you what’s good about it and what needs work.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:08 pm
Here goes being brave.
“The last Dryad searches for a way to heal the forest.”
I am not satisfied with this because it doesn’t seem like it sums up the story line.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
A maid of honor struggles to understand her powers after accidentally transporting herself, the best man, and the flower girl to a deserted island.
March 10th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
A man writes and sings an incantation over and over wherever he stands to unravel the prophecy that beckons the next savior of the world.
March 11th, 2010 at 3:32 am
I know, it is a little to long but here it comes:
On a space station a shell-schocked security chief tries to save the dreaded aliens survivors of a peace conference disrupted by a human religious terrorist.
March 11th, 2010 at 3:52 am
A Belfast biologist is forced to run from her own creation - across the real world and into a virtual one, where a strange power wrestles for control of her life.
March 11th, 2010 at 4:56 am
I really like yours, Katie.
Personally, I’m trying to decide who my main character is, so it’s one of these two:
A demon-banisher must save a young oracle from kidnappers, possibly including her own fiancee.
Or
A man who watched his sister’s murder must battle her killers to save a young girl.
I like both plot lines, so it’s a tough call for me.
March 11th, 2010 at 5:55 am
A young father searching for his abducted toddler son becomes the pawn in a terrorist plot to bomb a crowded NASCAR speedway.
March 11th, 2010 at 6:25 am
Long time stalker here and my first try on a one sentence summary:
“In order to keep a promise a young magician is forced to find out how to kill a god.”
March 11th, 2010 at 6:35 am
Mine is:
A NYC artist becomes caught in an ancient war when he discovers his late grandfather was a knight in service to a faerie prince.
Carrie> I find it surprising that both of those summaries are part of the same novel, and that they might BOTH have equal representation. Perhaps the most eye-catching idea might be to merge them, highlighting the dichotomy between the two threads.
Although, I think the ‘possibly…’ bit makes it seems like you (the author) doesn’t know whether the fiancee is involved. I’d suggest saying she IS involved or removing the part entirely, so you don’t sound unsure of the direction of your own story (which I’m sure you’re not).
March 11th, 2010 at 7:19 am
A withdrawn boy of divorcing parents struggles to get back home after falling into a cave in the center of the Earth.
March 11th, 2010 at 7:23 am
A homocide detective, adopted at birth, tracks a serial killer who seems to be targeting other adoptees.
March 11th, 2010 at 7:41 am
Guilt-ridden inventor of artificial womb faces adulation and vilification, seeking answers to chaos as worldwide birthrate plunges to zero when God closes the womb.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:02 am
Mine is still a work in progress (the one line summary, as well as everything else!) I feel that it is still a bit too simple, but I’m also still working to uncover completely where the story is going.
A newly orphaned girl must protect her baby brother and sister while they travel to the high mountains in search of her grandfather.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:05 am
Caught in the cataclysm of World War II, three Japanese American brothers and their families struggle to survive.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:12 am
The clock ticks as a woman searching for answers to a devastating past sets out on a journey she will soon forget.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:37 am
Love Field is the story of the clever daughter of working-class factory workers who wants to rise in the world and make her own way.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:48 am
(Hope this time the submission works.)
Long time stalker here and my first try on such a one sentence summary:
“In order to keep a promise a young magician is forced to find out how to kill a god.”
March 11th, 2010 at 8:54 am
A blind, female educator leads a divers group, including an ex-lover, to stop a demon invasion and reinstate their exile.
March 11th, 2010 at 9:38 am
A young innkeeper discovers that magic still exists and finds his life is changed in unexpected ways.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:05 am
Four magical teens look for family and meaning while others just look for ways to use them.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:21 am
A cowboy cop is forced to team with a by the book cop to bring down a killer who plays by no rules.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:26 am
A young genetic scientist discovers the holy grail of DNA science and is hunted by a Global Corporate Empire.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:28 am
After an Isadora Duncan flying dream, a 15 year-old choreographs her Moby Dick masterpiece until blown off course by true love.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:45 am
An orphan uncovers her billionaire benefactor’s dark secret.
Hey, Bob K.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:46 am
A new novelist fictionalizes her life story only to have it come true which leads to one unexpected consequence.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:50 am
These are all intriquing but Rob yours scares me since my daughter dreams of going to a NASCAR race someday. It seems to me you all got the intention of the assignment.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:52 am
A young Seattle software tycoon inherits a home on the Oregon coast that turns out to be a physical manifestation of his soul.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:53 am
A female knight guards a prince journeying to save his kingdom from war.
March 11th, 2010 at 11:56 am
A young dancer’s involvement with two successful older men triggers traumatic memories of a past life in which one of them may have killed her.
March 11th, 2010 at 11:57 am
While Spain wavers between Inquisition or renaissance under a dying king and a mad queen, two women gamble for the soul of a gifted, tormented man.
March 11th, 2010 at 1:23 pm
On her 21st birthday, aspiring archaeologist Jennifer L. Standford (JEN) receives a mysterious gift from her grandfather—an ancient talisman—plunging her into a one-winner adventure, involving Egyptian gods, alien beings, demons and a protective cat.
March 11th, 2010 at 2:14 pm
They’ve already killed her husband . . . now they’re closing in on her . . . and her unborn child.
March 11th, 2010 at 5:13 pm
This is book II in a series and trimming this is making me crazy.
When a Universal Government agent is kidnapped, the new Corporate Overlord sends both his Dark Ops team and Corporate Archangels to her rescue but a psychic vampire and his strange twin change the stakes.
March 11th, 2010 at 5:42 pm
An Irish tenant flees the wrath of her lord after leading his son to his death.
March 11th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
In their struggle to survive a boring summer, two boys suddenly find themselves fighting for their lives when a California earthquake collapses their secret hiding place.
March 11th, 2010 at 6:01 pm
The Dome of the Rock through a supernatural event is desecrated beyond redemption and abandoned by the Muslim faith.
March 11th, 2010 at 7:06 pm
A vastly outnumbered Commodore must stop an enemy invasion fleet from destroying his home planet.
And in a different story:
An AI becomes autonomous and stops man’s ancient hatreds from plunging the world into barbarism.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:01 pm
The last dryad seeks a way to free the forest from the blight of the evil fairy King.
18 words.. almost short enough.
March 11th, 2010 at 8:25 pm
This is the story of a woman who leaves behind a failed relationship and a teaching career to test new skills in a male-defined world of coal mining.
March 11th, 2010 at 10:24 pm
Randy: Thank you! I love these.
Carrie Neuman: Unless the young girl in your #2 becomes somehow important to the story, I’d go with #1.
Lois Hudson: Wow. That’s a mouthful. You’ve definitely captured what your WIP is about, though you might want to use language that’s more accessible. Perhaps substitute “both ridicule and abuse” for “adulation and vilification”? They aren’t as powerful or poignant as the words you chose though.
Ramona: Nice. I like it.
Peppi: What is the holy grail of genetics? I can’t think of what this could be. Perhaps you could add in what it is and move the “holy grail” part into a phrase. Like so: “A young scientist discovers zRNA, the holy grail of genetics, and finds himself hunted by a Global Corporate Empire.”
March 11th, 2010 at 10:25 pm
Alas, my daughter cries. I have to go get the milk…
Same time tomorrow?
March 11th, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Excellent timing Randy, I’m using your Snowflake software and working on my sentence right now.
A perfectionist stuntman must expose an insurance fraud a corrupt executive managing a resort space station will kill to keep hidden.
March 12th, 2010 at 7:09 am
A young woman discovers she is not human and possesses a terrifying gift that can save mankind.
March 12th, 2010 at 7:58 am
Morgan, THAT is a great sentence. I want to read your book now.
March 12th, 2010 at 8:08 am
Hi Lynda. Are you going to be at Mt. Hermon?
March 12th, 2010 at 9:07 am
A tormented child discovers his prophetic connection between his dreams and the hidden civilization he must protect.
March 12th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Yes , Bob. See you there?
March 12th, 2010 at 12:18 pm
Are we “allowed” to write our sentences in question format…
“Can a village tanner’s son juggle familial duties with his battlefield-cravings as ancient enemies devour his homeland?”
…like so?
March 13th, 2010 at 8:58 am
Thanks Hannah! Bob, Lynda, I’ll be at Mt Hermon too, can’t wait to see you!
March 13th, 2010 at 11:22 am
A high achieving marketing entrepreneur battles a cynical corporate plot to bring down his business and smear his Cuban Catholic family reputation.
March 14th, 2010 at 4:25 am
So far, I’ve thought of two story lines. But the first seemed more like a character storyline then an overall storyline. But I also like it better than the second one.
The first one:
A young boy learns that he his descended from an ancient line of wizards and is also the key to an obsessive goblin’s triumph- and mankind’s destruction.
It sounds really cool though of course it needs a bit of work.
The second one:
Two boys and a dragon are all that can stop an obsessive goblin from freeing his master and ensuring humanity’s destruction.
Why i don’t really like it is because it leaves out a key point in the plot which is mentioned in the first one. And it probably sounds like some other Lord of The rings or Harry Potter spin-off.
What do you have to say?
March 14th, 2010 at 6:56 am
Thank you Daniel,
I’ll work on that: how about adoration and abuse?
Both sides of the issue have separate views of her work.
March 14th, 2010 at 10:22 am
Here goes my first comment here.
“five rival conspirers manipulate immigrants that threaten to ruin their schemes.” (I like the Snowflake Method)
The main problem I’m experiencing when planning is a lack of a protagonist in Book 1 (yes, I believe the plot is far too complex to fit in a single book, but then again, I’m only on Chapter 1).
March 14th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
Yay Morgan!
March 16th, 2010 at 3:59 am
I finished writing Chapter 1, which I began before finding this site, and I’ve decided to attempt improving upon my one sentence summary.
Power hungry conspirers discover and assassinate each other by manipulating immigrants with problems of their own, but the conspirers are not the only planners.
March 16th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
Guess who decided to improve upon his sentence summary by, ironically enough, increasing the length significantly?
In the first democratic colony, Empire hungry conspirers plot to assassinate one another in this world of magic by manipulating immigrants with problems of their own, but the conspirers are not the only schemers.
March 17th, 2010 at 6:32 am
Kevin, I don’t think increasing your storyline is making it sound better. You should find a way to shorten it and and yet make it sound more gripping.
March 17th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Thanks Dilip. I now realize that I have been focusing far too much on plot instead of the concept, and that simply does not do for books with abstract plots. Time for some condensation! Manipulators and the manipulated struggle for power in a magical world.
March 18th, 2010 at 3:52 am
*Sigh*
My latest isn’t quite so gripping. I’ll have to work on that. Don’t you just love how I’m taking up so many comments for a single summary?
March 18th, 2010 at 9:29 am
A lonely cowhand isolated for the winter at a line shack finds himself married to a pretty young girl he’s only known for two days and there’s five more months of snowbound winter.
or
Stranded in the mountains with a dying grandfather, a young girl finds herself along and married to a lonely down-on-his-luck cowhand who has rescued her, but now these two married strangers face five months of winter snowbound at a line shack.
March 18th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
Look at me, trying yet another approach. When shall I stop? I’m not sure if all of the summaries will be critiqued, but if mine is, this is bound to be mentioned.
In a magical world, colonial immigrants are manipulated by vengeful conspirators each striving to ‘rightfully’ usurp the same throne.
March 23rd, 2010 at 6:35 am
I have a problem condensing this ‘Snowflake’ reworked literary comic satire, working title, thanks to Shakespeare,’As A Careful Housewife’. So here goes - in about 50 words.
‘An eight year-old boy,known as The Hero, cycles through time from rural 1955 Cavan, accompanied by a conflicted 36 year-old bachelor farmer, to 1948 Kerry, where the conflicted bachelor meets his 36 year-old grandfather and the eponymous careful housewife who is preparing to open her dual purpose retreat house.
March 23rd, 2010 at 8:45 am
A teenage amnesiac begins to doubt her innocence when she falls in love with the boyfriend of a missing girl who she is suspected of harming.
My main problem with it is that I want to write a paranormal novel. There’s a whole lot of supernatural fun going on that I can’t seem to fit into the sentence without leaving some other important bit out, like the amnesia, missing girl or falling in love.
my second attempt is:
An amnesiac becomes the main suspect in her friend’s disappearance and fights to clear her name while struggling with uncontrollable supernatural abilities
So no falling in love with the boyfriend, no teenager hood. And even here, the magic seems artificially tacked on to the end.
thanks
March 23rd, 2010 at 5:24 pm
I realize I’m late to the game on this one, but I love input, so I’m hoping to find at least a little.
A former Imperial bodyguard is pursued for the universe’s most powerful weapon: His DNA.
March 25th, 2010 at 10:19 am
A doctor with a guilty past saves the life of a man she discovers is the boy she knew as a teen in foster care and gets pulled into his DEA group’s efforts to stop a gang war in her poor neighborhood.
March 25th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I know I’m late, but I’ve been trying to refine my storyline sentance. Here’s the latest draft. I’d love to get some feedback: good or bad.
A military cadet chooses between loyalty and revenge when he rescues the duchess responsible for his father’s murder.
March 25th, 2010 at 2:46 pm
After yet another rewrite (and alot of reviewing this site - again):
A royal guard trainee chooses between loyalty and revenge when he rescues the duchess responsible for his father’s murder.
April 3rd, 2010 at 10:28 am
Even if I’m to late for the party, I rather post my a one-sentence summary here than in the latest blog post.
“In an antique patriarchy, a victimized girl soldier struggles to avert the waste laying of her beloved native land.”
April 3rd, 2010 at 10:58 am
I deeply apologize for the double post, Randy, but I just realized that it might be more proper if I posted with my own name rather than with a bad Internet name. You may delete my first post.
Anyway, this is an one-sentence summary from my first novel, which is just in the very beginning of the planning stage. I hope that I’m not to late for the submittion party, but I rather post my a one-sentence summary here than in the latest blog post.
“In an antique patriarchy, a victimized girl soldier struggles to avert the waste laying of her beloved native land.”
April 3rd, 2010 at 11:00 am
I hope that I’m not to late for the submittion party, but I rather post my a one-sentence summary here than in the latest blog post. This is an one-sentence summary from my first novel, which is just in the very beginning of the planning stage.
“In an antique patriarchy, a victimized girl soldier struggles to avert the waste laying of her beloved native land.”
April 5th, 2010 at 7:02 am
Am I too late? If I am, just ignore me…
Two detectives visit a fairy-tale Kingdom to investigate a mysterious crime against a fairy’s goddaughter and uncover a true heir to the throne.
And another story:
A young girl has a power to grant other people’s wishes in exchange for a good deed. Problem is, not all good deeds are done by good people…
I thought it didn’t sound very good, so I tried another one:
A troupe of wandering actors tries to hide a girl gifted with a power to grant other people’s wishes from a man who plans to use her gift for his own benefit.
April 7th, 2010 at 11:28 am
A headstrong teenager, at odds with the world, discovers that getting special powers to fix her problems is more than she bargained for.
I had to translate this from Dutch, so maybe I use the wrong expressions.
(don’t even know if this judging is still on, but will give it at try anyway,
Question: What if the underlying theme is somewhat more profound than the storyline? Should the on-sentence-summary reflect this?
April 10th, 2010 at 4:57 am
@ Alice
the two detectives could use a description
foor the other two:
I think the first onde would do okay for the back of the book.
In the second one you start with the group of actors and not with the girl? Wich one is the more important?
April 12th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
…I just can’t stop being amazed at how many stories exist in people’s heads. You just have to look at those comments, they are all so different =D
To Jacob: Lol, I had to translate mine from Russian %)
Thanks for your opinion on those sentences!
I’ll think about a suitable description for my detectives.
Um, the girl is more important, but she is the part of the group of actors. Actually, the idea for the story is new, so the story can go in any direction, but the core of it, I’d say, is the girl and this thing about making wishes come true as a reward for people’s kindness. Or rather, occasionally getting into trouble for that.
Do you think I should focus on that?
To A J Hawke: I don’t know how much my advise counts as I’m new to this, but still. Your second sentence grasped my attention better than the first one, but it’s rather long. Why don’t you merge those two into smth like this:
Stranded in the mountains with a dying grandfather, a young girl finds herself married to a down-on-his-luck cowhand she’s only known for two days and there’s five more months of snowbound winter.
It’s still long, but you can work on it.
I also think you’d better replace “five more months of snowbound winter” with something more specific or at least grasping. What I mean is, I’m sure there’s a lot of interesting stuff going on in you novel, but “five months of winter” suggest nothing but long and dull pastime. Add something that would make the readers worry about your characters.
April 24th, 2010 at 3:12 am
@Alice
Wishes coming true always get yoy in trouble. so I think that is what you should focus on.
My main character is a Russian Girl who came to the Netherlands when she was young.
Coukd you please mail me (that is if you want to) I would like to have someone to check the things I say about the past of my main character.
jacobjanvoerman@gmail.com
April 30th, 2010 at 12:22 am
A young ambitious teenage orphan, disillusioned with life with his foster parents, runs away to seek a better living in the crime-rigged streets of the big city.
May 16th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
A young woman turns the tables on her stalker.
May 24th, 2010 at 5:38 am
The recherché world of a pretentious French nobleman befalls to one of distorted turpitude as he perpetrates a succession of murders under the ascendancy of a disingenuous doppelganger.