Successful Fiction Writing = Creating + Organizing + Marketing
I blog weekly on one of the above three topics, alternating between them. This week, I’m blogging on Creating. Our topic today is how to inject conflict into your scenes using “adversarial dialogue.” I’ll define what I mean by that a bit further down. But first let’s talk about conflict…
Conflict is the Heart of Fiction
I’ve been in critique groups for more than 35 years. I remember one meeting when a new guy came to the group, bringing a scene to be critiqued. There was nothing grammatically wrong with his scene. No spelling errors, grammar problems, or failed punctuation. But nothing was happening in the story. This is my best recollection of our discussion of his scene:
I started out by saying, “You write pretty well. But there’s a problem with this scene. You don’t have any conflict.”
He gave me a blank look and said, “A novel has to have conflict?”
I said, “That’s practically the definition of a novel. Fiction is characters in conflict.”
He said, “Oh.”
Notice what happened here. He thought fiction was one thing. I thought it was something else. That meant our goals in the meeting were at cross-purposes. I didn’t come there to grade a piece of writing for spelling, grammar, and punctuation. And he didn’t come to be graded on conflict.
So we had a dialogue that’s stuck with me. There’s a lesson here. The key to interesting dialogue is that it needs to be “adversarial”…
What is Adversarial Dialogue?
When I talk about “adversarial dialogue,” I mean dialogue in which two or more characters are at cross-purposes. They each come into the scene with a different goal. And that automatically creates conflict.
You don’t need violence to create conflict. You don’t need shouting. You only need multiple characters who each want a different thing, with neither willing to budge. If the stakes in the scene are high, your scene will be interesting, and your reader will be hooked.
If the stakes are low, or if there’s no conflict at all, your scene will be boring.
So how do you fix dialogue that’s not adversarial? That’s easy. Let’s look at an example, and I’ll pull this from my recent experience buying a car. (Our family car died unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago, so we spent last week shopping for a replacement. It’s a story with a happy ending, but there was conflict along the way, because I watched a few billion TikTok videos first on how to shop for a car.)
Example 1: Nonadversarial Dialogue
In this example, I’ll show you how not to buy a car. The dialogue will be nonadversarial, and the scene will be extremely boring.
Salesman: Hi, how are you today?
Buyer: I’m great, how are you?
Salesman: Fantastic. Are you looking to buy a car?
Buyer: Yes, but I don’t know what model I want.
Salesman: What kind of monthly payments were you thinking of?
Buyer: I was hoping not more than $900 a month. That’s the most I can afford.
Salesman: You’re in luck. Take a look at this car right over here.
Buyer: (Looks at sticker and gasps.) Wow, that’s a lot of money!
Salesman: Not to worry. We can get you a great deal on financing, if you need it.
Buyer: That would be wonderful. Can I take it for a test drive?
Salesman: Hop right in and let’s give it a whirl.
15 minutes later…
Buyer: Wow, I love this car! But I don’t see how I can afford it.
Salesman: Leave that to me. Let’s just go in my office and I’ll work some numbers for you.
Buyer: OK.
30 minutes later…
Salesman: You’re in luck. I fought with my manager and got you a $3000 discount that includes a $2500 rebate from the manufacturer. Then I argued the bank down and got you an amazing rate on financing. I added in a really incredible maintenance package to extend your warranty out to 10 years, and our own special Invincible Finish paint protection package. The bank let me stretch out the loan a tiny little bit, and we got your monthly payments down to only $897.67 per month. That’s within your budget, right?
Buyer: Yes.
Salesman: Then you just bought yourself a new car. Sign right here.
* * *
Let’s mercifully draw the curtain on this exceptionally boring scene. There’s no conflict here, because this salesman and this buyer have almost exactly the same goal. The buyer wants to buy the best car he can at a price he can afford, and the salesman wants to sell a car at the maximum amount the buyer can afford. These goals are so well aligned, there’s only one possible outcome.
And it’s a yawner of a scene. If you have a scene like this in your novel, you need to fix it. Here’s how…
Example 2: Adversarial Dialogue
In this example, I’ll show you a better way to buy a car, and coincidentally, a better way to write the scene. The dialogue will be adversarial, because now the two characters have misaligned goals. The salesman still wants to sell a car at the maximum amount the buyer can afford, but now the buyer wants to buy a car at the minimum amount the dealer can afford. This does not mean that either the salesman or the buyer is a bad person. They are simply players in the game called capitalism, each playing the role that the game requires them to play.
Salesman: Hi, how are you today?
Buyer: I’m really interested in your model Z. I saw it on your website and it looks like a solid car. Here’s the stock number for the exact vehicle I want to look at.
Salesman: (Looking at stock number.) That’s a terrific car, but it’s in the cheapest trim line. The Limited edition is way better, and I bet you can afford it. What kind of monthly payments were you thinking of?
Buyer: I don’t know if I’ll be making payments. I might pay cash and I might finance it. We’ll talk about money later. All I care about right now is that I want to drive this exact car.
Salesman: Help me help you. Can you afford $1100 per month?
Buyer: I’m not going to talk about money until I decide if I even like this car. Have you got the keys?
Salesman: Hop right in and let’s give it a whirl.
15 minutes later…
Buyer: This car is perfectly acceptable.
Salesman: Great! Let’s just go in my office and I’ll work some numbers for you.
Buyer: Thanks, but I’m not ready to talk numbers yet. I haven’t even decided if I’m going to be buying from you. I’m planning to also test drive a Toyota Model X and a Chevy Model Y today, so I need to be going now.
Salesman: Those cars are OK, but that model of Toyota has had some problems with the…
Buyer: Thanks for your time. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to talk money.
Salesman: I can get you a $3000 discount. Also, we’ve got really great financing. Just come into my office and we can talk.
Buyer: (Walking away). I’ll be in touch.
Salesman: Let’s go talk to my manager. I think I can get you $3500 off, but this deal is only good for today.
Buyer: Have a nice day.
* * *
There’s no punching or shouting in this scene, but the conflict is real, because the buyer and salesman have wildly different goals. The salesman’s goal is to get the buyer into an office where he can create a deal favorable to himself. The buyer’s goal is ONLY to test drive one particular model and then walk away.
The buyer does not intend to buy any car today. After he test drives a few different brands and models, he’ll make a decision on one of them. That may take a few days. Then he’ll take another day or two to research prices online for his chosen make and model and trim line, looking at sellers within 500 miles of his home. He’ll identify a few specific cars with specific stock numbers at specific dealers.
In a later scene, the buyer will negotiate with the dealers who have the cars he wants. He does not intend to negotiate in person. Nor will he negotiate over the phone. He plans to negotiate the deal ONLY by text messages. The buyer knows he’s an amateur going up against a pro. Negotiating by text will help to level the playing field. A little. If he can, he’ll pit the dealers against each other to get the best selling price. But he might not have this option.
In a yet later scene, the buyer will negotiate financing, again using only text messages. Now he’ll pit the dealer against his credit union (or against a cash deal, if he’s lucky enough to have cash).
In each of these scenes, the buyer will be at cross-purposes with the salesmen. They will try their best to get him to come in to the dealership and “talk.” The buyer will try his best to get a written term sheet in a text message. The buyer wants to have a hard offer before he goes to the dealer in person, at which point he will sign papers and take his car. There is no guarantee on who will win this tussle. A lot depends on what the market is like for the particular model the buyer wants. Uncertainty is part of life. And uncertainty is what keeps fiction interesting.
Homework:
- Take a look at the dialogue in the most recent scene you wrote. For each of the speakers, write down what their specific goal is in this scene.
- Are there conflicting goals in this scene?
- Can you put those goals more at cross-purposes to each other? (Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t. It’s always worth asking.)
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