Comments on: Should You Trick Your Editor?

By: Bruce

Bruce — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 06:13:22 +0000

As a reader, it annoys me when one character appears to be the POV character and then there is a sudden head-hop to another character, usually if the POV character leaves the scene. Having said that I am forgiving of a good writer (Ian Rankin does it in his Rubus books, occationally) but it still jars.

I prefer it (again as a reader) if there is a line break which makes it clear the scene has changed in someway. You could therefore have a scene break and switch to a different POV (or no POV) and show the thing that your character didn’t see.

By: Tessa Quin

Tessa Quin — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 08:36:26 +0000

I knew Throckmorton would kill eventually.

By: Adam Leigh

Adam Leigh — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 12:15:21 +0000

I struggle with the head popping in my own writing, mostly because one of my favorite authors does it frequently in defiance of a strict POV. Of course, he also knows how to write excellent first person novels as well, so it’s clearly a case of knowing a rule before you break it.

But if I were to venture WHY it works for him so well, it’s probably because the works that he does it in are all ensemble pieces, in a way. There is not a focal character so much as there is a focal group, and when that group is conversing amongst itself, the reader is privy to many characters’ thoughts, the same way a close group of friends might “know” what their friends are thinking in a given situation.

Also, it helps that he uses the head popping mostly for comedic effect, and sticks to one POV when the story turns more dramatic.

By: Richard Albert

Richard Albert — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 15:35:48 +0000

Although the question was actually about POV, I’d also have to suggest using technique to inform the reader without the POV character discovering what they did not already know. In other words, hide the truth, or make it obvious to the reader and oblivious to the POV character.

Let’s see if I can come up with an example (but this is on the spot in really bad form LOL).

The reader has discovered the antagonist is sending anthrax through the mail in plain white envelopes from Juno, Alaska. The POV character walks into a post office and sees an envelope fitting that description. The POV is completely oblivious to the fact even if the reader suspects what it is. I think this idea would work well in suspense/mystery because even seeing this event, the reader still isn’t 100% sure they are seeing what they think they are. They MUST ask questions about the story which brings them along for the ride.

By: RevTrev

RevTrev — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 17:06:13 +0000

I made this mistake with my first novel. I put in a twist at the end that I loved and hinted at in the book, but when I finally got an editor to look at it I never mentioned it…

I got a call - not saying “you’ve got to improve your writing” or “this isn’t the genre we’re interested in” - the complaint was “You’re a pastor and sending people to hell!”

Turns out they weren’t interested in a novel that deals with life when it doesn’t make sense.

But giving some warning on my part may have avoided that phone call.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 04:35:04 +0000

Richard: Yes, but how would the reader know that the antagonist is mailing anthrax envelopes in the first place, unless we’ve already made a jump out of the POV character’s head previously in the story…

By: Terry

Terry — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 20:23:41 +0000

If one is querying agents or sending submission packages to editors (usually 1st 3 chapters + synopsis), unless one is an established fiction writer, possibly with that house, it is unlikely that the author will get an acceptance on a proposal, where the author hasn’t actually finished the novel. In that case, it seems unlikely that the author would not know the ending.

By: Lois Hudson

Lois Hudson — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 23:52:42 +0000

What is the style called of the old Matlock or Columbo series, where the viewer (reader?) sees the murder being committed - sometimes actually seeing the murderer, sometimes just the feet or hands.
Is this pertinent to the discussion here?

By: Alice

Alice — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:22:23 +0000

Thank you for answering my questions, Randy! I’m sorry for the late reply, I was away from my computer…
I understand that you have to be very careful to avoid head-hopping (or at least to write it well), but what I meant (I think) is more like if it is legitimate to hop from third-person POV to the objective third person and back during one scene? Like, for example, if we look at the events from the POV of one character - then there is no POV at all - and then we go back to the same character’s POV. Should this be treated the same as head-hopping or is it a bit different? (Or am I just getting more confused??)

By: Alice

Alice — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 13:26:04 +0000

@Lois: I think in Columbo series the story is told from the POV of the bad guy, because we usually see things as he sees them (except for the scenes where he’s not present, but even then we see Columbo from the POV of somebody else and we don’t know what goes on inside his head).