So this answered my questions. And created some more.

You fixed it nicely, Randy—-it certainly looks right now. So, I can see I’m going to have trouble with this, because in my wee analytical brain, a physical response from the pov character is a separate reaction and not part of the motivation. But I need to look at the sentence subject and decide whether or not the reaction is tacked onto a motivation. (I think I have a lot of these in my novel. ugh.) I’m going to stand in the corner now and try to wrap my brain around this.

I had no clue about paralanguage. I’ll study up on that while in the corner, too.

Thank you, Randy, for your help on this, the bonus lesson and all the free tips.:)

& Sorry about the overage.

I will not post over the limit.
I will not post over the limit.
I will not…(to be continued. Also in the corner.)

Paralanguage? Ha! The learning never ends. I will have to study up on that, too.

I also hope your MIL improves quickly.

Camille, you are a great writer. I’ve read your stuff. It rocks. Get thee out of the corner.

I feel so DUMB after reading this post! I wish I had the brain power to really get it. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just keep writing and hope to hit the right MRU once in a great while. As for paralanguage — wow. What a cool word and concept to understand: “Paralanguage about a non-POV character simply has to be part of the Motivation, not the Reaction.”

If only I did!

This example is extremely helpful to me because it’s the crossover from concept to practice. I understand MRU’s and I believe they are a very helpful tool. But to see it applied to a passage with an understanding of what and why it’s been changed is meaty.

Great stuff Randy!

Randy said: I always wonder why the author didn’t write it clearer.

I say: I wonder why the EDITOR didn’t catch it!

I’m a fairly new subscriber (Junior-Senior category). Normally I print off the blogs to study instead of reading it online. Love your blog, and I’ve gotten so much wonderful information that you’ve explained so well.

My request: I failed to get lesson 5 on MRU’s printed off. I couldn’t find any archives on your site. Is there any way I can get that lesson from you? I’d appreciate it. Without lesson 5, it’s like a missing tooth showing in a big grin.

Thanks.

Bonnie J.–young lady trapped in old body

This whole paralanguage thing really changes everything doesn’t it? I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll EVER get done editing my novel. Every time I learn something new, then I have to go “fix” more stuff…blech!

I’ve never heard of paralanguage before either.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit like D.E. Hale on these matters. Who has time for perfection? And the market is so tight, who has time to submit less than perfection?

I really appreciate what you do here, though, Randy.

I seem to recall learning at some point that each new paragraph of dialogue belongs on a separate line. That’s the way I had been doing it, too, until my crit partner told me the new black is to put it all on one line.

Maybe I’m making it up and I never learned that- I don’t remember- but it seems to make sense since many of us habitually do that very thing.

Enjoyed today’s critique. Sometimes we are so busy with the words we write that we (I) overlook simple clarity. Thankfully we have critique groups to point out the confusion!
Kristi Holl
Writer’s First Aid blog

I decided to do mine this year using the snowflake method. It already looks like I’ll be far less garbled and all-over-the-place than I was last year.

Re. MRUs vs. Traditional “speech gets a line of it’s own”, I think there’s been a definite shift toward compressing more content into less paragraphs over time. I remember being taught that every time someone speaks a new paragraph is formed. But those days are definitely gone, or at least, the number of ways to approach paragraph content has increased dramatically.

Take, for instance, Jose Saramago’s writing style, wherein he sometimes opts to leave out quotation marks for speech entirely. His writing provides a fine example of just how seamlessly speech, thought, and action can be combined in (sometimes quite lengthy) single paragraphs without interfering with overall narrative flow. Rather, this style creates an almost mesmeric flow that encourages the reader to experience shifting layers of meaning that would be difficult to communicate otherwise.

So I guess what I’m saying is: MRU’s are a useful tool, but don’t forget that the best tool of all is your own unique story and motivations for telling it. Don’t get too tied up in technicalities.