A question in the area I stumble on: when to separate action (as in body motions, not Bruce Willis films) from dialogue when it’s coming from the same person? And when to keep them in the same paragraph? It sometimes looks odd to me to see these combined in a paragraph. For example, told in Emily’s pov:

= = = = = = =
But he didn’t say anything else. Emily wanted to know more, but couldn’t bring herself to ask.

Ian sighed. “Katy attended a ministry training institute in Hawaii while I . . . during our engagement.” The last word hissed out through his teeth. Ian grabbed a bottle of water, twisted off the cap and took a swig. “Janet was there doing a series of lectures and they became good friends. I didn’t meet her until later.” He took another drink, swallowed with a loud gulp. “At Katy’s funeral.”

They drove in silence for several more miles…
= = = = = = = = =

Should the paragraph be broken up? Emily is observing Ian, so the only ‘reaction’ would be her awareness of his hissed word. The rest is motivation - I think? I’m confused.

Her reaction would break up and liven up Ian’s monologue.

I must say I only heard about MRU’s a year ago and it makes writing so much easier. This lecture series just adds so much to that ease.

Thanks Randy

For me, the second fight wasn’t about action so much as interior monologue. Granted, that second sentence is brutally complex.

But the few sentences of Tom’s voice that follow make the scene worth it. Instead of blow by blow action, that scene becomes the whole fight as a motivation, followed by Tom’s interior monologue as the reaction.

That doesn’t mean the scene works as well as the first one, but maybe it’s not intended to be an action scene in the same way?

So it depends on what the author is emphasing at that point. Not all action or dialogue should be shown, although it certainly should be shown much more than told.

As far as Camille’s question, as long as the action and dialogue are for the same person, they can be in the same paragraph. I hate when one person speaks and another acts with no paragraph breaks. Throws me off as a reader.

Thanks for offering an example, Camille.

[He took another drink, swallowed with a loud gulp. “At Katy’s funeral.”

Funeral? The steely edge in his voice sent a chill through her, bringing tears to her eyes.]

There’s an eploding helicopter scene shortly following. I’m making a note to have her scream and duck for cover after it blows.

I like that you used boxing scenes as it made me realise that every scene in every kind of novel is about ‘boxing’.

The characters are ‘in the ring’ (the setting) together.

They are ‘circling’ each other.

One hits out (which can mean deciding not to hit out).
There is a reaction.

I’ve yet to read a published novel where two characters got together in a scene to be nice to each other - except at the very end, depending.

Even romance is about boxing. The greatest ‘romance’ of all time (in my not very humble opinion) is Jane Eyre. Both Jane and Rochester are described as ‘ugly’ in looks. The encounters between Jane and Rochester are electrifyingly sexy - and they never so much as touch each other! I’m trying to do the same with the two main characters in my own wip. It’s not easy, but from now on, when an of my characters go ‘tame’, I’ll think ‘boxing ring’ (and maybe ‘Retribution’, page 54).

Sorry about ‘electrifyingly’.

Ann