Comments on: Suzanne’s MRUs

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:10:58 +0000

Thanks Randy! What a nice way to start the day. Just when I think I think I understand these MRUs, I see something new and think, “oh, NOW I get it,”…until the next time and I say the same thing again. I think it’s been the one paragraph that has nothing to do with the POV character, then one that is all about her that has thrown me. I thought most of your changes were obvious improvements. However, I started to mentally argue with the last change - splitting the walking across the parking lot and the marguee overhead into two paragraphs - because Mira is going to walk through a series of steps focused on nothing but her goal of getting to her first class, until she runs into an obstacle and stops to study the students for the first time. So I was thinking I’d argue that taking out the phrase “focused on” detracts from showing how goal oriented she is. But then it dawned on me that the next paragraph should say something like “Mira ignored the throng of students and pulled open the office door, focusing on nothing but getting her schedule…” By George I think I’m getting it! At least I hope so, since this is the last one!

By: Sylvia

Sylvia — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:40:18 +0000

Hi Randy,
Nice to see you at ACFW this week.
I’ve noticed that when you break up work into R’s and M’s you often use one-sentence paragraphs. I was taught that a paragraph develops a thought and that a one-sentence paragraph isn’t grammatically valid. (I guess I taught grammar too long!) Other than adding more white space to the page, are there further reasons for one-sentecne paragraphs? (I don’t mean to be a smart Aleck.)
I often feel patted on the head when paragraphs are very short segments — like the author is thinking,”My readers aren’t intelligent enough to ‘get it’ unless I break it up for them.” On the other hand, I do feel daunted by a full page filled with one paragraph.
Thanks for explaining the MRU concept to us. I picked up Swain’s book, and I’m in the process of reading it. Frankly, his explanation isn’t as clear as yours.

Gratefully, Sylvia

By: Camille

Camille — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:33:10 +0000

Sylvia… aha! Nice to meet you in person!

I don’t think I’ve ever heard the word disimproved, ever. Wow.

I’d say you improved it; the break-down is more clear. I’d have to read it in context at a run to see if I think it flows more smoothly. Does breaking these up into shorter paragraphs generally read smoother?

Like Sylvia said, I often wonder about making so many short paragraphs in an effort to keep the Ms and Rs clean. And I still get hung up once in a while on paragraphs in my novel which have blend of Ms, Rs, and things I’m not quite sure how to label but they feel like they need to stay together. But for the most part, I think I’m getting it.

This topic has been incredibly helpful, Randy. Thanks loads.

By: Andra M.

Andra M. — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:23:03 +0000

This has been an informative topic. As I edit my manuscript I’m sure I’ll refer back to this series again and again - I’m old and tend to forget things.

To jump in on the secondary subject about short paragraphs, they come in handy during high action scenes. It shows how characters think when they need to accomplish something fast. There’s no time to waste on details and words.

As with anything, though, short paragraphs can be overused.

By: Andra M.

Andra M. — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:25:12 +0000

Darn it, hit Submit too soon!

I wanted to add that I tend to use short paragraphs. I have to force myself to slow down and allow the characters - and my readers - time to catch their breath.