I have learned from these critiques of MRUs and they’re getting less and less foggy.

What about discussing time transitions and flashbacks?

Unfortunately, it also messed up the timing of key events, and I gave up trying to fix it–hence the discarded mss. However, if I’d added the character sooner in the story development, I think I could have written the story better from the beginning, without the problems that have caused me to set the whole thing aside.

Unlike Rob’s problem, my current WIP is headed toward too much story, and because it covers quite a few years, I’m trying to axe some of the past and touch on backstory with flashbacks. There are five characters over the years, not all of them in all parts of the story, but connected by a trickle-down event. I do know the full story and where it’s going, but need help getting there.

My intention for this bit was to show Isaiah’s inner turmoil and struggle to be perfect in a community that demands perfection. Yet, his family doesn’t follow the rules. He loves his family, but hates that they are turning away from the strict Puritan lifestyle.

Mark desires to marry Sarah, a person who is beneath his position and a dissenter. Mark lived a rebellious life before he fell in love with Sarah. A rumor was repeated to Isaiah that Mark returned to that life.

Isaiah blames the dissenters for all the evils occurring in their colony, even though he is aware that such a blame is not entirely well placed. Sarah, for him, is the face of these dissenters (which is only a part of his conflict with her). Does that give you enough of a background?

I see I can improve the first paragraph.

There stood Sarah Brown.

Isaiah growled. She should know about Mark. He rubbed his jawline.

However, does this give the picture of his sorrow? And the sentences seem to be all the same, short and choppy.

Maybe:

Isaiah growled. He rubbed his jaw, pressing his fingers into his sagging face. She should know about Mark.

I’m curious to know what you think of the changes, and how you handle a deep POV while still giving the reader a picture of how the POV character looks. He can’t see himself, but he can feel what his face is doing. Yet, is the above enough to portray his sorrow?

I don’t know if my burning need applies to anyone else. I’m about 4 scenes away from wrapping up my first draft and will set it aside for just a few minutes to read my Margie Lawson Empowering Character’s Emotions Lecture packet - (thanks Randy for suggesting it - it looks great!) Then I will go back through my novel and deepen where I need to. (I also have some chapters to rewrite and stuff to add due to changes made later in the story.) I need to do some layering, deepening and polishing. Make it all shiny and pretty for that nice, pretty agent lady who is patiently waiting for it but probably won’t wait forever.

Someday, I’d like to know how to write WELL and FAST, if there is such a thing. But if 20 years if good enough the the Supreme Dictator for Life, then it’s good enough for me.

In defense of many of the snippets we’ve reviewed, some are taken mid-story and therefore we don’t know the details that would build up to the specific MRU. Character identification and situation dynamics can’t be included in every scene, so uninitiated readers (Randy and the rest of us) don’t get the whole picture. Readers of a published book have the advantage of build up, assuming we successfully “build” the characters and situations.

I’m with Lois Hudson in that we can’t “get” everything from a mid-story snippet.

I like the idea of tackling flashbacks next.

ARGH!!!

But I guess that’s a rant and not really something we can blog about.