One of the many highlights is the scene just after the victorious candidate has been anounced.

Losing candidate: (addressing his supporters in Plains, Georgia) “….but I want you to know, I love you all …”

Supporters: (in perfect unison)”and we love you too!”

Happy Thanksgiving to all the US (and some Canadian) readers.

Thanks for the clarification. I went through multiple rewrites trying to accomplish my goal from a single POV, and you’re right. It doesn’t work worth a (choose your own four letter word)! Now I’ll try inserting chapters or scenes with second POV. As I look at where the story is going, I DO need that second POV. Gracias!

As to your “Randy sez:” What ridiculous names these characters have! Nobody names their kid Obama or Hillary. Where did you get these?

I say: If your characters are less than honest you name them after politicians. Your readers know then that most of what they say is a lie.

Hope your Thanksgiving is treating you and your well. Until Monday…

Well, I had you on a pedestal until that Hilary thing. . .

I’ve got nothing against a female president, but Hillary ain’t the one!

You have just reminded me, during those years a photo of President Clinton and Hillary appeared in a magazine with the inscription “The President of the United States of America with her husband, Bill.”

Hmmmmmmm . . .

I wonder if we’re ready for that. HA!

Yikes Randy, you have a mathematical model to back-up your claim?

A couple of years ago I started doing the same thing you’re doing with the practice. I typed the first three chapters of a best selling novel because I figured if she was that successful I could learn something from her work.

I have a sanguine personality without any analytical cells in my brain, so outlining and such are useless exercises in frustration. Because of this I thought if I typed someone else’s excellent writing I could possibly pick up the rhythm and flow of good writing, along with learning proper punctuation and structure.
I stopped doing it when someone told me I was wasting time I should be spending on my own story.

Wow, look how much I could have learned in two years! I might even have understood this Scene/Sequel stuff by now. Guess you have to be careful who you listen to (or is that to who/whom you listen?).

Don’t you notice that in stories like P&P, for those who know the novel/film, ’scenes’ (ie goal, conflict, disaster) are subtle?

Chapter 16 describes a dinner party setting, which includes the ridiculous Mr. Collins who exists, as far as I’m concerned, for comic relief. As far as I can tell, the scene is primarily about Lizzie discovering something from Wickham that significantly increases her dislike for Mr. Darcy. If this is a ’scene’, her goal, as I see it, is to hang with Wickham. The next chapter moves on to another setting, where Lizzie and her sister discuss the new info and decide how much merit it deserves. Gripping stuff, I know. I bet you thought the next scene was Det. John Maclean stuffing Mrs. Bennet into a helicopter and flying it into the Lincoln tunnel.

My point—can I be honest guys? I want permission to explore the intricacies of human nature without feeling pressured to blow something up.

I’ll fess up: here’s a little excerpt of my story and a brief critique, which I appreciated. And I agreed with the coments, of course. I just don’t know what to do about it- www.tinahelmuth.blogspot.com -if you have a minute to look at it.

Does something outwardly eventful have to happen? If I have people interacting and reacting inwardly, what will it take to make a scene like this feel whole, like a real scene?

Can’t a conflict and disaster be something as simple as this:

Jamie, carrying a load of private anguish, is struggling to figure out how she will break off the recently professed love-thingy with Ian before it goes any further, only to discover that he has told his very caring, meddling sister and Lord knows who else, and now there are more people involved to contend with, people who might start to pry, be sympathetic, and crack the fragile hold she has on her emotions. Of course, they end up prying and being sympathetic and she cracks and now the guy is looking around for a cork because that’s what guys do when a girl starts bawling.

Does this count as a disaster?