Advanced Fiction Writing Blog

I’ve read through the last few days’ comments and have compiled a list of 31 questions that we’ll be tackling in detail over the next months. Our goal will be to come up with some “Best Practices” on how to do various practical tasks in this fiction writing game.

I think we’ll start with time management. I’ll put together some thoughts on that over the next few days. For today, I want to tackle some of the “easy” questions you all have asked that can be answered in a paragraph or two. The “hard” questions are going to require several days or maybe a full week to work through, but I can do most of the easy ones today and tomorrow.

Carrie wrote:

When you’re planning your outline, how much stuff do you need to put in to get an 80,000 word novel? Or is it something that comes after the outline? Real books have all kinds of minor glitches for the main character, and the outline only hits the highlights. So I know other problems have to crop up, but I don’t have a good guess for how many between disasters.

Randy sez: If your outline gives you a list of all your scenes (as I recommend in the Snowflake Method, using a spreadsheet), then figure an 80000 word novel would be 60 to 80 scenes. If you prefer longer scenes, then you might only want 40 scenes. I don’t think it’s good to have super-short scenes, because readers don’t like being yanked around from scene to scene too often. If you average 4 to 5 pages per scene, that’s probably about right, but remember you can have an occasional long scene (10 or 12 pages) and an occasional short one.

Lynn wrote:

How do you get a published author to read your novel with the hope that they will recommend you to their agent? Besides the obvious of meeting them at a writer’s conference.

Randy sez: It’s best to let them volunteer. That’s tricky, because they won’t volunteer unless you know them pretty well, and it’s a big time investment to get to know somebody well.

That’s just life. The fact is that all published writers get asked to read manuscripts all the time by people they barely know. And they just can’t do it. Imagine getting asked 100 times per year to read a manuscript. Could you do that? Would you get anything else done if you said yes? Now imagine getting asked 1000 times per year.

Honestly, I think the best way to find an agent is to go to writing conferences and make some appointments with agents. Of course, the agents tell people to get recommendations from their clients, because that saves a lot of time for the agent. The problem with getting recommendations from a writer is that an agent who’s effective for THEM might not be effective for YOU.

Once in awhile at a conference, I’ll find a writer who’s ready for an agent (but that’s fairly rare, and the ones who think they need an agent often just aren’t ready.) When that happens, I’ll introduce the writer to one or two agents who I think would work well for them. That generally isn’t MY agent! Every agent is different. I’m looking for the agent that will “get” this writer’s work and will love it.

Warning: If you meet me at a conference, please don’t ask me to introduce you to the “right agent.” I only make introductions when a writer is READY for an agent, and only if it’s my idea, because then I don’t feel like I’m being pressured into being a matchmaker. I really hate having to say, “No, you’re not ready for an agent yet, because you need to work on this aspect of craft first.” That gets awkward.

Bottom line: When you are really ready for an agent, you won’t have to work hard. At any good writing conference, they’ll be crawling out of the woodwork to find you. If they aren’t doing that, (this is going to be a hard thing to hear) then you aren’t ready for an agent yet.

Pam wrote:

An agent has offered you a contract. Another agent is still reading your stuff.

I’ve put out questions and am talking with clients.

How do I know which one will be better if I haven’t heard from them both?

How long do I keep the one waiting?

Randy sez: Which agent do you click with better? If it’s the one who offered the contract, then hire that one.

If you click with the other agent better, send them an email saying that you really are interested in working with them and that you’d like to know how long it’ll take to reach a decision. I don’t think it’s wise to say you’ve been offered a contract. If you don’t get a response, or if the answer is “a long time,” then that agent really isn’t all that into you. In the meantime, you don’t need to answer the first agent right away. You can wait a few weeks. They are not sitting by the phone waiting to hear from you.

Lynda wrote:

This sophomore needs help on EVERYTHING. How long should a novel be? I was told that there isn’t a prayer of getting published if it is over 100,000 words. I’m at 113,000 and don’t see where I can cut!

Randy sez: That’s not a show-stopper. You can submit it to publishers and let them know that it’s 113,000 words and you know they’ll probably want to cut it. Or you can hire a freelance editor who specializes in cutting novels to size. Most of my novels have been over 100,000 words. (OK, all of them have been.)

Lynn wrote:

Sorry Randy, but I have one more question - Should you hire an editor to review your novel, and if so, when? The expense seems formidable.

It depends how well-rounded you are as a writer. If you have a serious weakness in your writing, then either improve that weakness or find an editor who can address it for you. I would not do this until you’re a “senior.” Freshmen and sophomore writers don’t need editors; they need teachers and critiquers; they need to put in a couple of thousand hours of actual writing. Let me be selfish and say that a lot of freshman and sophomore writers need my courses “Fiction 101″ or “Fiction 201″.

Many published novelists work with freelance editors. I have for my last several books, and I think that’s helped my writing. I don’t need help with punctuation, but I do like to get a high-level critique, so I use an editor who specializes in that. (Meredith Efken at FictionFixitShop.com. She’s extremely good at that kind of critique.) You should use an editor who does the kind of editing you need. My blogroll has a small list of freelance editors. There are lots more out there, and you can find one who’s right for you. Make sure you ask for references and check them.

That’s all for today. I’ll answer some more of the “easy” questions tomorrow. We’ll start discussing “best practices” on time-management for writers when we’re done with all the easy questions.

I’m reading the list of questions you all posted in the comments today. Wow, these are great! It’s going to take months to work through all these, but that’s OK, right?

I’m cataloging your questions now. If you’ve got more, keep them coming. I’ll try to put some order on these and create a new page that’ll archive the answers.

The best form for a question is: “How do I __________________?” The blank should be something fairly specific but not too specific.

It’s been a long day, and it’s almost midnight, and I’m frazzed, so I’m going to bed now. Tomorrow, I’ll pick a question and we’ll start working on it.

In the coming weeks, I’m going to start a new page on this web site that catalogs what I’ll call “Best Practices” in fiction writing. More on that in a minute. First, I want to answer one comment from my last blog entry:

Sarah wrote:

Randy- I must admit, I thought the treleseminars would be more about the anxiety of speaking, esp. since you talked so much about overcoming your own panic. I looked up toastmasters in my area and there are abut 50 groups- I guess I’ll just have to take the plunge. I’m fine in a group if I’m part of the group and not “apart” from the group- so maybe I can learn to feel like I’m just one of the group even if I’m standing up front…if that makes sense!

Randy sez: No, the info page spells out exactly what we’ll talk about. It will NOT be possible to talk about speaking anxiety, since this is a psychological issue with many different causes. Neither Mary nor I are qualified to talk about that. Toastmasters is excellent for dealing with the normal levels of fear of public speaking that most people have. Those folks who suffer from genuine anxiety disorders or panic disorder will need help from a qualified counselor or psychiatrist to solve their problems. (I had both a counselor and a psychiatrist to help me deal with mine and I’m glad I did, because they were both extremely helpful.)

If you haven’t signed up for the teleseminars on public speaking that I’ll be doing with Mary Byers, don’t fergit! They start Monday, October 15. For all the info, click here.

Now back to “Best Practices:”

I’ve done quite a bit of software engineering in my short life (I spent quite a few years as a computational physicist, and to this day I still do a bit of consulting in scientific software). Software people talk about “best practices” in software analysis, design, and implementation. A “best practice” is a technique that is known to produce superior results to solve a particular problem. It sometimes happens that there is more than one “best practice” for a given type of problem, and in that case, you get to choose among them. But you definitely want to stay away from “worst practices”.

There are many different kinds of problems we face in writing fiction:
* How do you design a novel?
* How do you construct a character?
* How do you research a given place or time?
* How do you write a proposal?
* How do you find an agent?
* How do you settle a disagreement with your editor?
* How do you develop your voice?
* How do you choose what facet of writing to work on next?
* How do you promote your novel?

What I would like to find out from you, my loyal blog readers, is what problems you face. Post a comment here with one or more questions of the type I gave above. (No need to repeat those above. I’ve got them on my list.)

What I’ll do is collate all your questions and start finding the “best practice” answer to each one of them. I’ll discuss them here on my blog and then I’ll add an entry on my “Best Practices” page on my web site. In time, we’ll have a resource that answers a ton of questions.

Sound good? Start your comments!

I don’t normally blog on Friday nights, but I’ll make an exception tonight.

Aly wrote:

OK, this may be a dumb question, but can you teleconference in on a cell phone? I don’t have a landline. Just wondering if anybody knows…

Randy sez: Yes. To get into a teleseminar, all you need is a phone–any kind of phone will do. You’ll be given a phone number and an “access code.” When you dial the phone number, you hear a message telling you to punch in the “access code” followed by the # sign. You do that on your phone’s keypad and you’re in.

For all the details on how teleseminars work, check this page.

Looks like we’ll have a good crowd on Monday night. Note that all who dial in will have their lines muted by the teleseminar system. That way, if the dog barks, nobody will hear that. When you get large crowds on a conference call, the combined noise of everybody breathing, sighing, scratching, eating, drinking, snoring, and laughing would be a major problem. By muting all the lines (except the lines for the organizers), all that noise gets eliminated.

Note that we’ll have our teleseminars recorded and they’ll be available for download within a couple of days after each teleseminar. So even if you miss it, you won’t miss it. Since dialing in to a teleseminar will incur a long-distance charge, those outside the US will probably NOT want to dial in–just download it later off the web site.

Once again, the info page for the teleseminar series with Mary Byers is right here. The first teleseminar will be on Monday night, so it’s right around the corner!

OK, I think I’ll go watch a good Manly Guy movie–Die Hard 3!

A number of you asked excellent questions today.

First, let me note that I somehow forgot to spell out the dates of the teleseminars on promoting our writing by public speaking. Here they are (all at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST/6 PM MST/5 PM PST):
Monday, October 15, 2007: on Getting Engagements
Monday, October 22, 2007: on Setting Fees
Monday, October 29, 2007: on Preparing for the Engagement
Monday, November 5, 2007: on Building Your Business

Camille asked:

In the meantime, can you define “platform”?

Randy sez: Loosely speaking, a “platform” is how visible you are to your target audience. If you speak to 500 people per year, that’s a smallish platform. If you speak to 5000 per year, that’s a biggish platform. If you speak to 50,000 per year, that’s a major platform.

The more people you speak to (or reach via your e-zine, blog, podcast, or whatever), the larger your platform and the more editors will be impressed by your marketability. (Of course, your writing must also be good, but any kind of marketing platform helps.)

Lara wrote:

When I launched my self-published book in August, I knew I’d need to get out speaking to promote it. Problem is, even though I have two speaking engagements lined up for next year, I’m not sure how to line up more of those gigs and how to sell myself as a speaker. I’m looking forward to the teleseminar - looks like exactly the kind of information I need to boost my speaking (and book sales).

Randy sez: Yes, that’s just what Mary and I will be talking about. As she and I have worked through her information over the past few months, I’ve been mortified to see all the mistakes I’ve been making. I’ve been speaking at writing conferences for about 7 years now, and there is SO much I could have done better. But from now on, I won’t be making those mistakes anymore.

Mark wrote:

But if you’re unpublished, unconnected and already have a full-time job in a cubicle farm, won’t you have a hard time finding people who are interested in hearing you speak?

Randy sez: There is no doubt about it, time is a huge issue for you. But it’s a huge issue for me too, and for everybody. Every writer I know has to manage his time wisely. Ditto with every speaker. I think in a few days, I’ll talk about time management again. We discussed this last summer, but I have some new insights that I’d like to share.

As for having a hard time finding people who want to hear you speak, I would think you can find them. If there are people who want to read what you have to write, then it follows that you must be interesting enough that people would want to hear you speak. We are not MERELY writers, we are communicators. We have things to say.

Lynda wrote:

If you want to see a full blown panic attack, just put me and “public speaking” in the same sentence.

Randy sez: Long-time readers of this blog and of my e-zine know that I conquered exactly this problem in the recent past. I was diagnosed in 2004 with general anxiety disorder/panic disorder. I was speaking several times per year at that time and was so thoroughly miserable that I decided I had to do something about it. I was having major anxiety attacks every time for about an hour before I had to speak. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and got some professional help. I made enormous progress in just a couple of months, and I’ve continued to improve since then. You can beat fear of public speaking. I did. Many people have. It’s a matter of whether you want to do it and are willing to put the time, energy, and money into winning.

Karla wrote:

I am soooo looking forward to this seminar! My computer is down right now — will I be able to access it to download it later when I get my laptop back?

Randy sez: Yes. If you miss the teleseminar, you can always download the recordings and handouts later. They’ll always be there.

Don wrote:

Anyone interested in public speaking needs to join a local Toastmasters club for a year or two (or more!). Excellent training and best value for the experience (about $100 a year, more or less). I joined a club after reading a recommendation to do so in one of Tom Peters’ books. The main website will direct you to a local club. You learn a lot, meet interesting people, and have a captive audience to talk about your writing to boot.

Randy sez: From what I hear, Toastmasters is great. And there are other organizations that can help train you in the performance part of public speaking.

Note that Mary and I will not be talking about the performance part. We’ll be talking about the business end of things — how you get engagements, set fees, prepare for the engagement, and grow your business.

Whether you are published or not, you’ve probably heard that novelists these days need to help promote their books.

It’s a little scary to think about that, because most of us prefer to sit in our little cubbyholes and read and write and do email. The last thing most of us want to do is get out there and do icky book promotion.

Unfortunately, just about every publisher on the planet thinks differently. They all believe that you care more about your novel than anyone else does. They all think that you know more about your novel than anyone else does. They all think that you ought to be promoting your novel harder than anyone else is.

And they’re right. We’ve discussed various methods of promotion on this blog, and I’ve written many columns in my Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine on book promotion. Normally, I’ve talked about new and cutting-edge methods of book promotion.

One method I haven’t talked about very much is one of the oldest and best-known methods: Public speaking. Many of my novelist friends earn extra bucks by speaking (and selling their books at the back of the room).

Publishers LOVE writers who speak, because a writer who speaks is a writer who sells books and who is earning money while doing it.

Next Monday night, I’ll be beginning a series of teleseminars with my friend Mary Byers, who’s been speaking since 1988 and is a member of the National Speakers Association. In this series, we’ll cover four topics: Getting Engagements, Setting Fees, Preparing for the Engagement, and Growing Your Business. Click here for more info on this teleseminar series.

I do quite a bit of public speaking on “how to write fiction.” What I’ve not done yet is to do public speaking to promote my novels. But I intend to start doing that, because I think it’s a smart thing for any novelist to do. So my main reason for doing this teleseminar series with Mary is to LEARN HOW TO DO IT.

I hope many of you will join me in learning from Mary. It is NEVER too early to start public speaking. The best time to start is long before your book is published. That way, you’ll have a “platform” that you can use in promoting your novel when it finally does hit the shelves. You’ll also develop the skills you need to do well in radio and TV interviews about your book. Plus, you’ll make MONEY by speaking, and that’s always a good thing to have.

One final note: If you have a speaking platform in place, publishers will consider that a “plus” when considering whether to publish your book. Why? Because if you can help promote your book, even a little bit, then the book is that much more likely to earn its advance.

I just got back from my monthly critique group and am ready to wrap up our discussion of those pesky Manly Guy characters. For those of you just dropping in, we’ve been talking about how to write from a male point of view, and have critiqued some snippets of novels by a number of women writers over the last few days.

Yesterday, RelevantGirl posted this spoof segment, which shows exactly how NOT to write a Manly Guy (or a Womanly Girl):

Lawrence tipped his teacup to his lips. Too hot. He dabbed the corners of his mouth while his mind wandered to the buttercup fields of his youth where he and Mother would gallivant the meadows searching for just the right spot for a picnic. Oh, how he ached for those picnics again–the tiny crustless sandwiches, the petit-fours, the clanking of the china cup to its flowered saucer. He’d give his best suit to sit next to Mother again.

Caroline smoothed her dress and burped.

Lawrence gasped. “You can’t be serious, Caroline. That’s hardly ladylike behavior. I thought better of you, actually.”

The woman who’d soon be his bride slurped her tea, spat it back into the cup and grimaced. “You got any chew?”

Lawrence drew in a quick breath, then calmed himself. He picked at a hangnail. “Darling, whatever do you mean?”

“Chew, chaw, Copenhagen. Anything. I’m dying here.”

Lawrence looked around, his eyes wet with disappointment. “Would a pipe do?”

She smiled. She ransacked the tiny cottage, thrashing about. “Now! I need it now!”

Lawrence slunked off to the corner and shook.

“There it is.” She flicked the lighter on and off, on and off, her face like a macabre black and white movie. “Now I can blow this place up!” She ran over to Lawrence and kicked him square in the gut. “And if you’re smart, you’ll get out of here or you’ll be toast.”

The last thing Lawrence saw was his precious cottage engulfed in growling flames, his fiance’s cackle booming in his ears. Lawrence cried. Then cried some more.

RelevantGirl is of course my friend, Mary DeMuth, an accomplished novelist who knows better than to make a grown man cry. And cry some more. I think Mary hit pretty much all the wrong notes here, both for Lawrence and Caroline. Attagirl, Mary!

Moving on then, we have a few other questions to tackle:

Diane asked:

How does a boy think differently from a man, or is there a difference? I mean, boys can be pretty sensitive right? At what age does boyish bravado change over to manly ego? Or are they the same thing?

Randy sez: Boys start thinking like men pretty quickly. I would guess by age 4 or 5, they are already pretty well lined up with men on a lot of issues. Let me say right now that I have no idea whether there is a genetic basis to “Manly Guy” thinking or whether it’s just cultural. I would guess it’s a bit of both. But it kicks in pretty early, if my own memories are any guide.

Donna asked:

I agree, this has been very interesting and thought provoking. But I also am curious about the more insecure and softer sides of the manly man, especially in their actual thoughts. Surely they do at times think that way, so how can we portray that without making them seem wussy or worse?

Randy sez: You show them faking being strong and tough, but show flashes of that softer side. For any number of examples of this, watch any Bruce Willis movie. The old Die Hard movies are great examples. Bruce is as tough as they come in those movies, but you also see flashes of inner pain. Just a little bit, but it’s enough to know that he’s got real emotions. Manly Guy emotions.

Karla wrote:

I have a question, or maybe it’s an observation. But isn’t it true that in romance novels the guys think more like women and that’s why (some) women like reading them so much and wishing her man was that way? (I don’t read romance novels very often and if I do they are Christian ones and the Christian romeo is usually a stellar fellow who of course would never think about sex and blowing things up. Food is OK. Football, too.)

I have a number of friends who write romance novels, and many of them secretly worry that their male characters are “transvestites” — characters with male bodies who actually think like women. After I gave my infamous talk a few years ago on “Writing From The Male POV,” one of my friends asked if I thought it would be OK to use male characters who are the way women want them to be. I don’t see any problem with that, as long as you know that’s what you’re doing and if you’re writing a novel for women who have expectations for that kind of male character. The hazard would come if you are creating that kind of character and DON’T realize it and imagine that you are really creating a Manly Guy.

Bottom line: Don’t fool yourself. If you write a Less Manly Guy character, be intentional about it.

Of course, the ladies should not complain if we guys create female characters who are made the way WE want them. (Think Lara Croft.)

D.E. Hale wrote:

Ok, so if you’re saying what I think you’re saying, then a manly man would never stop to think about anything “sad” while they are focused on one of those other areas? Goal oriented - got that! So, if my MC’s wife was just murdered by the evil wizard Gorkon, then he will not stop to “mull” it over, instead he will immediately go after the evil wizard to blow him up, behead him, or whatever. Right?

Randy sez: If the murderer were right there, then the Manly Guy will not stop to feel sad, he’ll go into Revenge Mode immediately, and nothing will stop him. But if the murderer is far away (the normal case) then the Manly Guy will go through the normal feelings of loss. Then he will map out a plan of action that will take him to the murderer and he will execute vengeance in a Manly Guy way, which will probably involve high explosives or machine guns or hot pokers placed in inconvenient places.

Holly wrote:

Randy, I am loving this - educational and incredibly entertaining. Ever think of writing a book/let about how women should write men? Something tells me it’d sell like hotcakes.

Randy sez: Good point. I may just need to insert a segment in Fiction 301 on that.

Sarah wrote:

This has been a very informative discussion - thanks Randy, and all who have participated. I have one question to add to the mix. If a male POV character is an artist, is he permitted to think in more than 11 basic colors?

Randy sez: Yes, because that’s part of the job description. However, if a guy actually knows what “mauve” is, then he had better also be gifted in some Manly Guy trait, such as karate or mountain-climbing or beer-drinking.

Last Friday, my blog entry was a question for James Brausch, an extremely well known internet marketer. I asked what is the optimal length of time for a special offer. (Brausch often uses a 24-Hour Special, and I have emulated him in using 24-Hour Specials for several of my own products.)

On his blog today, James not only answered my question (check it out–his answer may surprise you), but he also named me the winner of his “best question” contest! I don’t know the exact content of the prize, but since it has a retail value of several thousand dollars, I expect it will contain a number of his products. I’ve bought several of his products over the last year or so, and I’ve found them Xtremely useful, so I’ll be jazzed to get whatever he sends me. Thanks, James!

I know that many of you are interested in marketing your fiction more effectively, and I think you’ll find James’s blog very interesting. I have had a look at the work of quite a number of internet marketers, and Brausch is one of the three folks whose advice has been the most practical to me.

In particular, his Glyphius software has been very helpful in writing effective ad copy, and his RaSof tool has helped me make my pages search-engine friendly without any need for dirty tricks. (If you Google “fiction writing blog”, you’ll see that my blog ranks 5th. If you Google “fiction writing ezine”, the top TWO results are on my site.)

I’m looking at the comments you all left for my post yesterday, and it appears that there is continuing interest in talking about how to write male characters for your fiction. I’ll continue tomorrow on the topic of How Guys Think. RelevantGirl posted a sample from her work in progress which I will critique to see if her character is truly a “Manly Guy.” See ya then!

I had a very nice time in Seattle on Saturday, teaching a few dozen writers all about using the internet to market their books. I got home late Saturday night full of caffeine, and with my nerves buzzing after listening to loud music for three hours (a great way to stay awake while driving late at night).

While I was gone, a couple more ladies posted snippets from their male POV scenes. I’ll look at those now and see how they stack up to the typical Manly Guy:

Tami posted this example:

“Abbie, come look. This is really –,” her scream cut him off. He spun around in time to see her back away from the door. He jumped onto the deck. “Are you alright? What happened?”

She pointed to the back door window. Inside was a kitchen that would have been outdated for his grandmother. The ancient stove door hung to the floor and the refrigerator wasn’t much more than an icebox.

A bit of a mess, but Abbie’s reaction had him expecting to see Hannibal Lecter having a snack in the kitchen. He saw something move. “Geez, it’s huge. I’ve never seen a rat that big.” The foul creature paused from rummaging through a pile of trash heaped in the corner. “It’s probably just looking for something to eat.” Ryan looked at Abbie’s pale face. “Don’t panic. I’ll kill it as soon as we get the key.”

“I’m not going in there.” Abbie’s cinnamon brown hair brushed her shoulders as she shook her head.

“Don’t freak on me. I said I’d kill it.” Why did women always over react to rodents? “But then again, it could be one of my relatives.”

“Ryan! That’s awful.”

“Hey, my old man was a rat, so why not a few more in the family?”

The old man. When had he started thinking of his father in those terms? When they were young he and Matt had called him Papa.

Randy sez: The first issue that caught my eye was the “cinnamon brown hair.” I firmly believe that Manly Guys only know eleven colors: red, blue, yellow, green, orange, purple, black, brown, grey, white, and pink. Women seem to know an infinite number of colors, such as mauve, taupe, beige, rust, aqua, lavender, and cinnamon. All of these are “unmanly” colors. No Manly Guy would ever allow these colors to pass his lips. Many Manly Guys would not even know what these colors are.

Back to that “cinnamon brown hair.” You might say that her hair is the color of his grannie’s cinnamon rolls, but that is the closest you will ever get to having a Manly Guy use the word “cinnamon” in any color-related context.

The second issue I see here is that we’re in the middle of an action scene, which will hopefully culminate in the death of a rat — possibly using an exploding helicopter, or better, an exploding 747. However Mr. Rat meets his demise, one thing is certain: there must be no introspection about Dear Old Dad during this action scene. Manly Guys simply don’t think like that. When a Manly Guy sets his mind on a target, everything else vanishes from thought until the mission is accomplished.

Donna mentioned that women multitask. Manly Guys don’t. Manly Guys focus on one single task.

Karla suggested that Manly Guys think about only 4 things: Food. Sex. Blow things up. Sleep. There is quite a lot of truth to this, although I question whether “sleep” really belongs on the list. Mark noted that “football” was missing, and he echoes my thoughts exactly, although some Manly Guys prefer other (less manly) sports. In any event, when a Manly Guy sets his mind on any of these Four Thought Groups, introspection goes out the window.

Becky posted this snippet:

Maybe this was the weapon that spewed darkness over him when he wallowed helplessly in the marsh.

He wanted to believe so, wanted to ask the Abonah to confirm his suspicions that the Stone of Surrender could cause the fear he had known, the lure that pulled him toward the shadow, toward the seductress, but those questions would reveal more to his friends than he was willing to tell. As long as it was up to him, he would never discuss what happened in the swamp. The only others who had been there were the shadow creature that he hoped he would never see again and Paloh who was dead.

Randy sez: The Manly Guy does not ever think that he wallowed helplessly in the marsh or anything else. The Manly Guy never wallows. He may fight, struggle, kick, bite, slash, churn, or battle, but he never wallows. Wallowing is for wussies, and the Manly Guy is not a wussy.

Likewise, the Manly Guy would never describe himself as helpless. He may be defeated by bad luck, or by a better-armed foe. He may be down for a time, while he awaits the opportune moment. But the Manly Guy is not helpless. Ever.

Finally, the Manly Guy does not use the term “seductress.” This word implies that the Manly Guy could be persuaded to do anything against his will, which no Manly Guy would ever admit. There are two kinds of Manly Guys. One will cheerfully seduce the lady; she has no power to seduce him because he’s three steps ahead of her. The other kind of Manly Guy has manly willpower and could not possibly be seduced by a woman. If this sort of Manly Guy DOES succumb to temptation, he would never admit that the lady seduced him. Instead, he would blame himself — his Manly sex drive simply got the best of him (which is an implicit statement that he is way too virile for his own good). The Manly Guy can turn any negative into a positive.

Ladies, you need to remember that the Manly Guy has an ego that won’t quit. He always thinks of himself in positive terms. Even when he botches things terribly, he phrases his defeat in Manly terms that make it clear that he was put in an impossible situation and anyway he was off his game that day. The Manly Guy firmly believes that he could have been an Olympic champion (if it weren’t for that trick knee, caused by an old football injury when the entire opposing team piled on him). The Manly Guy firmlly believes that he could have had a Nobel prize if he’d felt like it, but he just wasn’t INTERESTED in any of those things. The Manly Guy is dead certain that Julia Roberts or Angelina Jolie or Keira Knightley would fall for him in a heartbeat, if only he could get introduced.

Ladies, you may think that guys are suffering from a delusional disorder. This may be true of Wimpy Guys, but the Manly Guy knows that he himself is a bitter realist, seeing only that which truly is.

The best meta-advice I ever got was “Be careful who you accept advice from.”

For my internet marketing, I’m very careful about whom I take advice from. The three folks I listen to most are Tom Antion, Alexandria Brown, and James Brausch.

If you’ve never visited the blog of James Brausch, you should. Brausch has built an extremely successful business around his blog, and the information he sells is based on hard empirical data. When he tells you to do something, he’s basing his advice on real experiments he’s done. Ya gotta respect that. I read his blog daily.

On today’s blog, James is asking us readers to ask him questions and post them on our own blogs, with a link to him. He’ll answer questions on Monday, and the best question wins a prize.

A little context for the benefit of my readers: I occasionally sell one of my products at a steep discount for a fixed 24-hour period of time. I got the idea for these “24-hour specials” from James Brausch. My 24-hour specials have been very successful, but I’ve sometimes wondered what is the optimal length of time to run a special. If it’s too short, then not everybody will see the email notification in time to take advantage. If it’s too long, it loses urgency and people will put off getting the great discount and then they’ll miss out because they forgot to take action. Recently, I’ve seen another marketer running a 48-hour special, and I couldn’t help wondering whether the extra time helps or hurts.

So my question for James Brausch is: “What is the optimal length of time for running a 24-hour special?”

My hunch is that the answer is “24 hours” and that he can back that up with empirical data. I’ll be interested to hear what the data says.