As for humor in your bio, here’s my opinion. It makes sense that if you’re writing a ’serious’ novel, then the humor you put in your bio should be light at best. You don’t want to give the editor the wrong impression, or the impression that you’re inconsistent. Though if your novel itself contains humor, then I feel that adding humor to your bio only helps to tie you to what you’re writing. In this case, you’re not just saying that you’re an expert on the subject that you’re writing about, but that your style of writing fits in perfectly with who you are.

Not sure if an editor would go for this, but this just makes sense to me.

Looks like we’re moving on, but I’ll take a feeble stab at answering the “WHY???” from my bio, a.k.a. the hook, feel free to fire at will:

Camille C. earned a PhD in Learning Things the Hard Way. She’s well acquainted with dysfunction, abuse, pain, and despair. And thanks to the self-help Eighties, in additional to dysfunctional, she’s self absorbed. She’s also sarcastic, ironic, gifted but lazy, compulsive, wry witted, self-depreciating, and over-caffeinated. She plays bass guitar, loves Classic Rock, muscle cars, big V-twins and action flicks, and HATES shopping.

And. . . . she writes touchingly sweet, old fashioned, faith-based romances targeted toward nice, normal women with nice nails. WHY??

Because maybe, just maybe—this sassy rocker chick has a soft heart. And if word of that gets out, she’ll deny it.

Independent studies—actually a few moments of scowling at the keyboard—indicate that when a broken heart grows a thick skin and a sharp tongue, it’s not impenetrable; it just takes more powerful emotional experience to get through. Which means . . . she’s a real sucker for a deeply touching, take-your-breath-away love story.

Go ahead, laugh it up: she can take it. Beat her up: she won’t cry. But give her a genuine, poignant love story and she’ll shed a tear or two . . . so long as no one’s looking.

Better yet, let her tell the story, one with a shard or two of wit and so full of compelling characters, touching moments that take your breath away, and love that overcomes all obstacles, that it would crack the toughest nut. If it can do that, she’s afraid to think what it would do to the polite types.

New topic? How about characters? What do you do to create your characters beyond the one paragraph and one page goal/conflict/motivation development? Do you chart out details like physical traits, background, personality, quirks, etc? I feel like I need to have mine fleshed out before diving into the story (maybe it’s just my way of procrastinating).

Next topic? How about office organization (dry, I know - but how do you file - not your finger nails, but your file folders). Or how about contract know hows? Or maybe what to do when you find an agent who is willing to take you on?

Lynn asked about what to do if an agent wants you. I’d like to add to that, Randy. What do you do if TWO agents want you?

(Those of us not attending hold no sinful grudges or envy at all.)

May your classes be attended to overflowing with attentive listeners and not a single heckler in the crowd. As you pour out wisdom for those eager writers, may you be showered with blessings you never expected! And may your late night looning be nearly free of all scamming and other evil mischief making.

Enjoy — and thanks LOADS for all you do!!!!

Others have asked for better subjects to tackle next, but I have a small question: For competitive comparison books, can we mention books of similar writing style as well as subjects?

I often struggle during the plotting phase in the process of writing a novel. I find it difficult to come up with enough scenes for a novel-length work. I feel like I’m coming up short and I don’t know how to beef up my plots to make a longer book (i.e. the book I’m currently shopping around to agents I had intended to be at least 90k words, but it ended up a mere 76k). I like lean, punchy prose which is often found in the genre I write (crime fiction), so the last thing I want to do is pad my scenes.

So how does one get enough plot into a book to reach 90-100k words? And how do you know you have enough? I thought I did for that previously mentioned book, but it fell considerably short of my expectations.

Make sense?

The advice I’ve seen on the subject is to add another PoV character. Each one should be good for 10 to 20k words, so that would be just about perfect for you.

So what else is going on behind the scene that your protag doesn’t know? Is that witness holding out on him because she’s dating one of the perps? Is the villain deliberately interfering with the investigation behind the scenes? Is one of the cops covering for the bribes he’s been taking and accidentally screwing up the protag’s trail of clues?

I bet one of those minor characters has been calling out to you, right? Find their secret and why it’s important to the story, even if the protag can’t see it. Badda bing extra words with no padding.