Comments on: Critiquing Your Synopses

By: Camille

Camille — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 05:23:06 +0000

Randy sez: Because the story doesn’t begin until there’s conflict.

A question that’s been bugging me for a while: What strength of conflict really marks the ‘beginning’ of the story?

I have smaller conflicts at the start. Like Kathryn, I have 2 storylines for a while. Alternating protags. In each scene before the 2 lines merge, there is a conflict for that character. These don’t get resolved. When the storylines merge, or the 2 meet, there begins the first major disturbance. It doesn’t happen until (Yikes, I hate to say it) 12k words. Yeah, I plan to cut some of those out.

By: Shruti

Shruti — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 06:03:49 +0000

In my debut novel (literary fiction), the conflict was mainly in the character’s personality. He was divided.

The question is - whether it is advisable to have internal and external conflicts both, and how many conflicts should one include.

As far as I know there are conflicts between
man and man
man and nature
man and society
nature and society

Randy, I will appreciate your help on this. Thanks.

By: Carrie Neuman

Carrie Neuman — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 10:24:36 +0000

Now you’ve got me trying to remember high school English, Shruti. I remember:

man vs technology
man vs himself
man vs God

Not sure how many there were, but that should cover most plots.

By: Shruti

Shruti — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 11:31:32 +0000

Yeah, that’s right Carrie, but in most literary works there are more than one kind of conflict. Most of the time, it is both internal and external. There is a struggle going on inside the character and outside. What I wanted to know is whether it is advisable to shift conflicts like from man and society to man and man. Obviously, the internal conflict will shape itself around the character’s personality, so can’t do much with it.

By: Destiny

Destiny — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 12:28:00 +0000

How much, if any, backstory should we put in the synopsis? I mean, if conflict is important, we can’t wait a few chapters till we put in backstory, can we? And are there are ground rules we follow when we write synopis’?

By: Writer Interrupted » Learning the Craft

Writer Interrupted » Learning the Craft — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:04:15 +0000

[…] Ingermanson at Advanced Fiction Writing has been critiquing some synopses this week. He also has an e-zine filled with valuable tips and info on […]

By: Pam Halter

Pam Halter — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:33:25 +0000

Thank you, Randy. It’s good to have things to work on, but also good to know when you don’t have to.

By: Karla Akins

Karla Akins — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 16:41:33 +0000

I learn so much from this blog. Thanks for your hard work, Randy. It’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

By: Marcus Brotherton

Marcus Brotherton — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:06:59 +0000

Thanks Randy for the excellent feedback. I appreciate your continued wisdom.

By: Debbie Allen

Debbie Allen — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:18:56 +0000

Twelve-year-old Alaina is on a mission. Reluctantly. She’s currently hanging on to the tattered robe of a blind man, who is leading her through dangerous catacombs to the surface. Alaina hasn’t been to the surface since she was seven, when her mother- the queen- was brutally murdered as Alaina watched. Her father narrowly escaped with her and a few others into the tunnels beneath their Celtic city. Now, five years later, Alaina is sickly and needs fresh air and sunshine. But no one can know who she is, or the man who killed her mother will destroy her- and the remnant hiding below.

Alaina has no memory before the death of her mother. Leaving the dark tunnels she knows is terrifying for her. And trying to help Ruggles, her guardian, to keep the remnant supplied with food is a responsibility she would rather not be burdened with.

It doesn’t help that the town bully, Cullen, seems to take particular delight in her bungling ways, and seems suspicious of her sudden appearance. Added to that is the complication of the present king’s son, Colin, who was there when his father murdered Alaina’s mother. Though Alaina is determined to hate him, somehow she finds herself drawn to him. But it doesn’t matter. He’d never give her a moment’s thought as a peasant girl, right?

By: Eliza

Eliza — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:27:38 +0000

A little late, but I’ve never tried one of these before and I probably should. Here goes nothing…

The world is full of magic and mechanics of the mad-science variety. Ess is the prototype of an artificially constructed angel made of lab-grown biology and clockwork. Because of his design flaws his creator Marlux had him imprisoned inside a crystal, and he placed the crystal in a cursed valley where nothing grows. Ess is found and released by a girl named Merrily Soarin. After they escape he tells her that the man who built him is in the process of making an army of these artificial angels so that he can storm the gates of heaven and take his personal revenge against God. Ess’ biggest flaw, the one that his creator had rejected him for, was that he was not obedient to his maker. Ess he feels that it is his duty to stop Marlux’s plans.

Ess is very noble, but also very shy. Merrily Soarin is an ugly farm girl who had served as a priestess before she was attacked one night, and sickened by the mixed reactions of her peers had left the establishment. Headstrong, religious, and not eager to arrive back disgraced at her family’s distant hometown, she volunteers to accompany Ess on his mission.

He flies them both to a place in his head, following a signal in his head, a mental beacon that tells him where he has to go, and that he is going to die very soon for a very important reason, but offers no other information. They walk the last distance, Merrily at Ess’ side, and enter into the lair of a broken construct, a monstrous beast that had made a home for itself in a plain of stone spikes and dry bones. It attacks. Ess uses a sword, but Merrily pulls on a pair of brass knuckles and proves to be a competent fighter herself. Even so, Ess is hit in such a way that he is knocked into the air and is impaled on one of the stone spikes surrounding them.

By: yeggy

yeggy — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 22:50:20 +0000

Yes, Randy, I might not always comment or participate but I do appreciate the effort you make in helping our work to be the best that it can be.

Debbie, I would avoid having two names that start with the same letter and sound so similar: Cullen and Colin. When the story is really moving along it can get confusing for the reader.

By: Patrick Hudson

Patrick Hudson — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 07:20:28 +0000

500 years after a nuclear holocaust, a man called Corin from the icey tundra of Gore is captured by L’hel, one of few men still posessing knowledge from the past age. L’hel will use Corin and the rest of his fellow Licotians to destroy the Crael Forest and to eliminate once and for all the people whom he most hates, the Foresters.

A two week’s journey south, the City of Garnock lies ruined, abandoned. The cities of Halal and Doden, on either side of the valley in which Garnock lies, fight for control of the old empire. The only province rival to that of L’hel’s technologically fueled city is in the midst of a twenty year civil war.

Gallas and Gius, twins seperated by their grandfather and uncle at birth, the rulers of each city, live ignorant of eachother’s existence. With the stagnation of 5 years broken, the boys are sent out when more than just a handful learn of the royal heritage.

The two twins run away, drawn towards the east by something they don’t understand and so too are L’hel and Corin’s lives slowly intertwined until they meet to understand the true depth of their lives.

Urien’s, the narrator, grasp and understanding of the human condition allows him to explain his own life, his own struggles and the trechery that can be found in the human spirit as he writes his story within the pages of this book, but what of the mystery man introduced before the holocaust? What lies within his suitcase hidden within mountains? How is his story, Urien’s and all four men of such different lives connected?
It can only be explained with the simple word: one.

By: Nancy

Nancy — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 16:05:38 +0000

Thanks Randy. Your explanation of ’summarizing sequences of scenes’ did the trick for me. I was using individual, representative scenes, and now it is much, much better.
When we submit to a publisher, do we give away the ending (I am writing suspense)or do we ‘tease’ them like your questions at the end of your ‘Mars’ synopsis?

By: Fletch

Fletch — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 18:43:49 +0000

Randy, thanks for having a scientific/artistic mind… It’s nice to have explanations for why stories work.

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 21:01:23 +0000

Thanx, Randy! Am thinking that my sequence of scenes should be the scenes of each plotline that leads to a converging point. Hopefully, it will work.

By: Katrinka

Katrinka — Sun, 09 Sep 2007 00:04:16 +0000

Randy, many thanks for discussing the synopsis. Writing the novel is easy. I think it’s harder to write a concise synopsis that makes an editor want to read the novel. Thank you for giving of yourself and helping others.

By: tentative writer

tentative writer — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 05:04:35 +0000

Your website has been an amazing source of encouragement and help - thank you.

I am currently plodding my way through my first novel using your snowflake method. I keep getting hung up on a few likely-inconsequential steps.

On step 4, Expand the Synopsis:

Take several hours and expand each sentence of your summary paragraph into a full paragraph. All but the last paragraph should end in a disaster. The final paragraph should tell how the book ends.

I keep letting my thoughts run away with me, instead of expanding each sentence into a full paragraph, I’ve expanded each of the five sentences into 13 paragraphs with more story like detail than synopsis like detail. The perfectionist in me worries I’m barreling ahead, making mistakes, that I ought to force myself to trim out the novel-like commentary and just summarize. Is it important that I follow the steps exactly or is it a good sign I’m already embellishing the storyline?

And I thought I saw it asked here, but I think I missed the answer. How much do we give away about the ending in the synopsis? I mean, is the synopsis primarily for our own creative process? I keep trailing off at the end of the synopsis writing like I would to keep the reader’s interest, not give it all away. But if it’s part of the creative process that I hammer it all out in the synopsis…

Okay thanks and apologies for the lengthy first time comment.