Comments on: Best One Sentence Summary http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/ America's Mad Professor of Fiction Writing Wed, 16 May 2012 15:18:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.3 By: Vennessa http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-731 Vennessa Sun, 13 May 2007 05:44:42 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-731 This one grabbed my attention as well. I'd definitely buy the book. Congrates, Chris. Nice rewrite, Randy. This one grabbed my attention as well. I’d definitely buy the book. Congrates, Chris.

Nice rewrite, Randy.

]]> By: Carrie Neuman http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-733 Carrie Neuman Sun, 13 May 2007 10:54:34 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-733 This reminds me of writing haiku. It's only moderately difficult to say what you saw in a few words. It's near impossible to say it in a way that the reader feels what you felt. This reminds me of writing haiku. It’s only moderately difficult to say what you saw in a few words. It’s near impossible to say it in a way that the reader feels what you felt.

]]> By: Gina http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-734 Gina Sun, 13 May 2007 12:42:11 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-734 I agree, a great one sentence summary. Caught my attention and held it. Good job, Chris. I agree, a great one sentence summary. Caught my attention and held it. Good job, Chris.

]]> By: Judith Robl http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-735 Judith Robl Sun, 13 May 2007 12:47:48 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-735 Loved Carrie's the Haiku analogy. It is precisely the same thing -- slightly longer form, larger topic. Sounds like a great book, Chris. Let us know when it's ready. Loved Carrie’s the Haiku analogy. It is precisely the same thing — slightly longer form, larger topic.

Sounds like a great book, Chris. Let us know when it’s ready.

]]> By: Rachel Brown http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-737 Rachel Brown Sun, 13 May 2007 13:19:53 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-737 Well done, Chris. Great hook. Randy - I'm learning so much through these challenges, thank you very much. I've read the Snowflake over and over, but I'm seeing so much more by analysing other people's one liners, and by reading your feedback. The five points you made about what worked in Chris's one were very helpful - I can really see how his "retired marine" sets up a character in only two words. Well done, Chris. Great hook.

Randy - I’m learning so much through these challenges, thank you very much.

I’ve read the Snowflake over and over, but I’m seeing so much more by analysing other people’s one liners, and by reading your feedback.

The five points you made about what worked in Chris’s one were very helpful - I can really see how his “retired marine” sets up a character in only two words.

]]> By: Kathryn http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-739 Kathryn Sun, 13 May 2007 15:44:46 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-739 Congrats, Chris. Randy, I do have some question about your five points: what if you have two main characters experiencing two convergent plots that don't come together until the end? The only thing they have in common is the place and the antagonist. In each plot, the antagonist is trying to achieve different goals, which lead to a greater third goal. Congrats, Chris.

Randy, I do have some question about your five points: what if you have two main characters experiencing two convergent plots that don’t come together until the end? The only thing they have in common is the place and the antagonist. In each plot, the antagonist is trying to achieve different goals, which lead to a greater third goal.

]]> By: Mary Hake http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-740 Mary Hake Sun, 13 May 2007 16:01:29 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-740 I like the one-liner and your version, but I would place the words "against the terrorists" before the setting "in Iraq." To me that would be more important and grab the reader better. I like the one-liner and your version, but I would place the words “against the terrorists” before the setting “in Iraq.” To me that would be more important and grab the reader better.

]]> By: Joleena Thomas http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-741 Joleena Thomas Sun, 13 May 2007 17:40:08 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-741 Congratulations Chris. I agree with Randy. Your sentence does sound professional. This was an excellent example of a grabber and the rewrite nails it. I notice Mary Hake's eyes are really keen. I agree with her feelings that the words "against the terrorists" should come before the setting in "Iraq". Super job on this one! Congratulations Chris. I agree with Randy. Your sentence does sound professional.

This was an excellent example of a grabber and the rewrite nails it.

I notice Mary Hake’s eyes are really keen. I agree with her feelings that the words “against the terrorists” should come before the setting in “Iraq”.

Super job on this one!

]]> By: Paulette Harris http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-742 Paulette Harris Sun, 13 May 2007 18:05:24 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-742 Congrats, Chris, good job. Let's keep our eyes and ears open. Those terrorists are every size,shape,and color. They are also not limited to gender and country. So...I agree with Randy, get rid of the word foreign. Warmly, Paulette Harris Congrats, Chris, good job. Let’s keep our eyes and ears open. Those terrorists are every size,shape,and color. They are also not limited to gender and country. So…I agree with Randy, get rid of the word foreign.

Warmly,
Paulette Harris

]]> By: Angie Farnworth http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-743 Angie Farnworth Sun, 13 May 2007 18:47:05 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-743 Great choice, Randy and a great job Chris. Like the others said, this one grabbed my attention right away. And great change on the "that/who" fix--one of my personal all time biggest pet peeves... Great choice, Randy and a great job Chris. Like the others said, this one grabbed my attention right away. And great change on the “that/who” fix–one of my personal all time biggest pet peeves…

]]> By: yeggy http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-745 yeggy Sun, 13 May 2007 22:04:03 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-745 Great choice, Randy. Well done, Chris, and good luck with the wip. Great choice, Randy. Well done, Chris, and good luck with the wip.

]]> By: Chris http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-746 Chris Mon, 14 May 2007 00:37:30 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-746 First off, I'd like to say that I'm flattered that you thought enough to choose my sentence over the other offerings. I only found this site a couple of weeks ago after googling "How to write a novel" and hitting the snowflake method. The sentence you read was actually developed directly from my attempt to follow the snowflake instructions. (I'm a former soldier and code-monkey, so I can follow instructions pretty well when necessary). I agree with the point regarding "foreign". My reasoning behind the use of the adjective was to signify that the terrorists were not Iraqi…(they will probably be Iranian) which means that the actions of the father have a political scope as well. I agree though, for the point of the exercise it's probably not necessary to indicate that. Grammar…damn that editor of mine! Now if only a whole book was as easy as that sentence… Thanks, all. First off, I’d like to say that I’m flattered that you thought enough to choose my sentence over the other offerings. I only found this site a couple of weeks ago after googling “How to write a novel” and hitting the snowflake method.

The sentence you read was actually developed directly from my attempt to follow the snowflake instructions. (I’m a former soldier and code-monkey, so I can follow instructions pretty well when necessary).

I agree with the point regarding “foreign”. My reasoning behind the use of the adjective was to signify that the terrorists were not Iraqi…(they will probably be Iranian) which means that the actions of the father have a political scope as well. I agree though, for the point of the exercise it’s probably not necessary to indicate that.

Grammar…damn that editor of mine!

Now if only a whole book was as easy as that sentence…

Thanks, all.

]]> By: Nic http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-766 Nic Wed, 16 May 2007 07:31:45 +0000 http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/blog/2007/05/12/best-one-sentence-summary/#comment-766 Chris, if the purpose of all this one-sentence-summary work is to hook others on your novel's premise, then you have succeeded. Get cracking on that novel. I want to read it. Chris, if the purpose of all this one-sentence-summary work is to hook others on your novel’s premise, then you have succeeded.

Get cracking on that novel. I want to read it.

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